The Peter Parker Dilemma
Hello, all. I want to share something quick that I have to write before my goldfish brain forgets.
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I often go through this scenario too much as an artist that is always busy in my own projects creating poems, screenplays, music, gaming, and digital art.
I don't know when this began, because as a kid I was fairly ordinary as all sugar-craze 90's kids are.
I would watch cartoons, play videogames, and as a teen I would take up having fun with skateboarding.
But as I write this, I think I know where this source is coming from, and it has to do with my interest in getting into things I really like or want to do.
For example, when I was in 4th grade, I loved cartoons so much, and while I lived in the Yugioh, Pokemon, comic book eras, the first thing I started to do on my own free time was draw comic books.
Out of having no prior interest in the arts, overnight I became a specialist going from sketching down cartoon characters, to producing entire comic book pages and a series around "The Adventures of Chin boy." Inspired by the show, Fairly Odd, and the episodes about the superhero part.
Anyway, the point is that even in 4th grade I was a rebel. While I was suppose to be a good 4th grade student and go home and sleep and repeat, instead I started picking up a desire to make more and more comic books. Eventually, I was donating most of them to my classroom library which got me unexpected fans.
But, I wish I could tell you more. My comic book days lasted as long as my Elementary School days and I slowly moved on. But, looking back this surge of self passion to work on my own projects has been repeated ever since. The comic book saga was just the start.
In Middle School, I began writing poetry. It started with me just copying text from a simple Shakespeare poem, to creating my own.
And, my golly. The Poetry just went off the hinge like nothing before.
I went from small verses, to long sonnets, to long prose. From single poems, to entire notebooks. I'm talking about, I became a writer. Writing was who I was. If you saw me then, I was always holding 2 things, my skateboard, and a notebook.
So, bare with me when I say that hobbys are just a word normal people use that don't understand the gravity weight behind someone's personal passion. A hobby is just a textbook definition pond when it comes to the rivers that someone can create with their work.
So, what does all this actually mean? What is this blog post about?
Put simply, I want to let you guys know that in life there are people, without any help, without any money involved, without any guidance to tell them what to do, that just derail from a normal life, and do their own thing.
In financial themes, adults would call this as entrepreneurs. In general society, scoffers would call this a recreational activity, or a hobby.
But from one artist to another, we call it true living. That, we don't do these prolific things because we want more money or want more fame, rather we do these things because we have a huge desire to create and keep creating something we care about.
When someone works on their own passion, in whatever it may be --writing, music, drawing, anything really, that person is going to be investing more time into their work than they are to their actual day job and responsibilities.
This isn't necessarily a bad thing in moderation, obviously, but it does explain the difference between someone that goes to school, goes home, goes to work, goes home, starts a family, gets old and that's it. Their footprint becomes their social life and family. Their passions and interest where never realized and placed elsewhere like how some people become really defensive with their job title, or family title.
But to the other folks, that are actively doing something with their time, they are busy working on their own projects without anyone pushing them to keep going.
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To me, looking in retrospect, this difference between a normal life and an active life is split between who people decide to be as a person and what they do in life. Not that the roles can't be reversed and people are absolute one sided to the end. But, just the fact that there are two types of people utilizing their time, whether leaving a footprint, or just going through the flow. None of these are bad things, but they do exist as realities.
Someone that goes home from work, and instead of watching tv, they do something else like build their own device, invent a new way to do something, write a book, make a videogame. I don't know, there is so much that a single person can do, these are just brief examples.
But I have personally thought about this topic before, because I am one of those people living a double life, and I have had plenty of problems because of this.
People tell me to work on my homework when I am caught writing a book. People tell me to get a job when I am making a mod for a videogame. People tell me to finish school when I am busy making music and filming videos for my promos. Anyway, again, it's all moderation, and people that take on more than they can do just have to manage both their projects and their stable income. And if you can manage to do both, or even better, begin to make two incomes, all power to you.
In my case, I often get labeled as lazy, or immature, because I chose to work on my "hobbys" rather than put more overtime on my 9 to 5 job. And, it's true that most of society laughs at an artist or someone with a dream, until our poems become books, our soundcloud songs become albums, our mods in child videogames become beautiful 4k high poly showcases.
All I'm saying is, anyone that goes through this, or has gone through this, is who this blog post is addressing. That this type of active person undergoes what I call, The Peter Parker Dilemma. You know, like in the movies. You live one life trying to go to school, have nice and clean clothes, have enough time to read a book or socialize with friends....and on the other life, you have a calling to do what you love (fight crime, wear tight undies, and be a hero). This contrast reflection between Peter Parker the normal person, and Spiderman, the superhero Peter likes to be, is an example of this dilemma. Where by putting more time in one over the other causes one to be more balanced and the other to be chaotic and abandoned. That, there is no balance is what I'm saying. You either have to choose to do one greater and one to be lesser at all times.
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So, that's largely what I go through on a daily basis, not even as an artist, but as someone that has my arm in Writing, Music, Videogame Development, and Art Design.
I would love to just give up what I do and be Bob the office worker, but I am always too busy working on my own projects. My laundry waits for days after I wash them, just sitting their in a bucket, and my bank account has been 0 for a while now, I don't have a long doing my hair routine, but at least I know I am still going strong on my own things.
It's very hard to have others understand this, that I'm not just on my computer playing videogames all day. I'm normally working on something only I can do. How could someone possibly understand? Only a fan of reading appreciates the writer and author. Only someone that loves a certain music genre understands the actual musician. But I bet they don't in their own life, or have many people that can understand them.
(https://w.wallhaven.cc/full/zx/wallhaven-zxwoyg.jpg)
citing the memes for the internet police.
--Conclusion: Both lives are Good choices.
You try to talk about what you are up to with 3D modeling, someone else might not even know what is Blender or Maya.
You try to talk to someone about this poem you wrote, they might not have read a poem since grade school.
All I'll say, is you're okay if you do and okay if you don't. You can spend your whole life enjoying watching tv and eating chips and working or raising a family, or you can spend your life working on projects you care about. Both will either way leave a footprint. All that matters most is that you enjoy living. Your legacy, your footprint, will stay in your place when you leave.
