Why I'm not quiting being Online

 

Alright, guys and gals. I want to share with y'all something sensitive that I've been going through this year.

So, I published my poetry book at the start of the year, and I finally bought a camera so I can begin filming promos, and I had upgraded my computer to handle all these new projects and workloads, yet in Feb. of this year my internet connection went down. I couldn't do much of any outreach and my personal business failed before it was able to start.

I later found out, between my headaches about learning all there is to learn in a complicated modern network setup we all take for granted, that the problem came from my end, on my computer, with my wifi adapter device. I think my computer received an update and it broke my device making my wifi signal unstable.

Any who, much technical words later, and the short story is- - I was limited to posting online, I was broke since leaving my Christmas job, and I was also attempting to finish my college classes. So, that's how I have been through this whole year, broke, without stable internet, and jobless.

So, let me share the first of my mental problems: being un-employeed.

I have already gone through a lot, so I'll just summarize with my experience: local jobs are cheap, unreliable, hard to get hired.

There is always that one person that says, "just upgrade your skills bro."

Upgrading a skill takes money, takes time, and there is no guarantee it changes the job market. 

If the only jobs in your area are fast food,
you're going to be a skilled worker flipping burgers or doing retail part time. That's just how bad the economy is. We have to work, and work until we die.

The only solution is to work your fingers to the bone so you can pay your bills. Or be rich. I just want stable living.

I start to freak out on how I am going to pay for bills. How can I possibly have money to go on dates and do my part to be there for a girlfriend. How can I even afford to raise kids? My faith is just not there for any company to provide a stable job. I've been laid off. I can't be fooled again.

So, I want to take this moment to put on my full conspiracy hat and blame Ronald Reagan for helping rich companies without providing stable jobs nationwide.
A company doesn't care about the workforce, it only cares about profit. There is no succesful business models shaped to help the employees, only making money.
So, that's what you see today. Lots of private mega companies, few actual hires and normal working conditions. Huge walmmart parking lots, few gov't jobs for actual townsfolk to work in like....well I don't know, maybe cultivation jobs, electronic jobs, jobs for clean water, jobs for environmental logging. I don't know. Clearly, I'm no expert. But I believe every place should have something permanent to provide that's actually a stable job. Why do gov'ts invest more into get-rich businesses than they do creating their own workforce? Every country has some form of "hands off" when it comes to business. How can you have a country jobless, with its people at mercy if a job is choosing to hire or leave?

But aside from that, the real thing that has been getting to me is maintaining my publications online.

In one sense, I love the internet and all the civil people out there making profound conversations, sharing a laugh, and getting our minds away from real life bills and politics, mostly.

On the other hand, the internet is FULL of cynical babies(wha wha wha) that complain about anything, trolls, clickbait, people doing shady things, stalkers, and people that take advantage of those that make free content.

A perfect example is with the gaming community when it comes to mods.

Who loves free mods? Everyone!
Who wants to pay for a mod to support the modder? No one!

So, if you're online, providing free content, its cool. But don't expect people to bother with donations or buying your products.

On one hand, I was very adamant about my phrase "I believe in free mods because free mods build a community."

On the other hand, I was also blind to the idea that it's okay for some mods to be paid in order to support the authors.

This includes all those people that upload mods like custom items, their own textures, sounds, etc.

Yes, yes, I know most mods are not legal proof, it depends on the companies that support modding features overall.

But the main direction I am going with this is...not all content has to be free, and its okay to pay every now and then.
It's not like we're talking about subscriptions here, now those are truly evil for business. You guys ever notice how many gotcha bills are ongoing? Insurance, govt water, govt electricity, rent, cable.

At the end of all this, society turns to piracy. And there are two types of pirates.
Those that buy a product and share them among friends, and those that hack and steal the product for free.

The problem with the internet is, many people prefer a fantasy world where everything is free.
But real life can't be all free. Someone has to do the work. Someone has to make the product.
Even if that person has a kind heart and doesn't want to take money, money is the only way a person can continue supporting themselves. Thus, some people are okay about free content, ONLY because they have somewhere else providing them with money. That's why most people are like, "oh, no. please. you don't have to donate." With me, it's more like, "bro, I am broke. My temp job just ended. I can work with super complicated stuff on my computer, even code, but the only jobs that are hiring is mcdonaldds."

So it's not as easy as simply saying, "oh its just a hobby, so it should be free."
If everything was free, then where will the payment come from? Dodge coins? 

I can't pay buy my lunch using dodge coins.

So, you can imagine how hard it is for someone to sell online. Even with indie game devs, there is always people that will pirate even their games!
All this because of how the majority of the internet views money, and adores more a free world. 

When people are broke, they turn to piracy. So let's start providing real jobs. If more people did both free and paid content, there will be less that turn to dangerous piracy. Why pirate a song when you can listen for free? And if you want the whole quality song, then buy the real thing. Or buy the physical disc. I don't know guys, many pirate because they're really broke, but I normally wait until I have money to play a new game. I don't turn to piracy. But that's just me. It's kind of the same thing as mugging someone in real life. If you have a stable job, would you need to go around robbing people? Maybe piracy is more a cry for desperation?

The other thing that has affected me personally, and the reason I made this post, was to the latter, to the cynical people online.

It's not everyone, but some of the most toxic sites like Omellge, by no fault of their own, reveal just how toxic human beings can be to another stranger.
I hope no one visits that site, unless they want their faith in humanity destroyed.

Thus, as I begin my slow return to the internet, with all my promos and attention like I had before, I am both exited and utterly depressed inside. If I wasn't also a christian, I would add that I would even feel hopeless about humanity. Who can I trust? I've seen how toxic a stranger can be, how can I trust my fans or friends online aren't the same? I always feel alone now in a world of two-faced people. At least, the forums I am in are nice, even if it's all relative to the subjects. I like to pretend the people I interact with are nice people on other sites too.

I was on the verge of removing all my social posts, ads and business, but I just have to get use to the fact that the internet is full of nice people, and bad people.
And I just need to build more communities of nice people, and ban as many toxic comments as I can for the sake of staying professional. I don't like to remove comments, but if I find out someone is really hateful or toxic, I am quick to ban, or leave such forums.

Not to mention, whenever I do give people a chance, someone eventually comes in with a hateful comment. This is why we can't have nice things and why I restrict most of my comments. Please treat others like you would like to be treated. How would you feel if someone came into your content and dropped a "you shouldn't be doing that" or "you suck bro" or "your content is trash."

So don't forget to be nice, share a laugh and don't be toxic.